What People Should Know About Childhood Loss: Listening to Parents

As part of the poll conducted by the National Alliance for Grieving Children and the New York Life Foundation, parents who had a spouse die were asked what other people should know about the experience of their children having a parent die.  Here are some of the answers:

“Children do not ‘get over’ their loss after a few years because every new milestone in their life reinforces the loss that they have endured.”

“It affects everything the child does and thinks about.  It may not be present on their minds all the time but it affects their lives daily.”

“My experience is that most people try their best to be helpful but everyone is distracted by their own life issues. This may make them less attuned to our loss.”

“Grief in a child presents itself in all forms.  It's a fine line to know when it's grief or when it's simply a child misbehaving.”

“Peer support is important among kids.”

“Children need to know they are not alone in this process and that there are other children in similar situations.”

“Kids can be so resilient if we as parents help them instead of ignoring the issue of grieving.”

“My children need other supportive adults in their lives.”

“Infants and small children feel the loss just like adults or school-age kids.  People that interact with these small kids --  pediatricians, preschool teachers, Sunday school teachers -- need to be aware of the signs and behaviors that children show when grieving and be willing to offer the support and love they need.”